1. Not repeating myself
2. Not saying “I told you so”
3. Not giving people the benefit of the doubt
This year I struggled with finding peace. Whether I was home alone, with friends, family or strangers, I felt agitated. It was the little things that would occur for example; repeating myself to family and friends more often than before and it was really getting under my skin. I’d question myself “how could I have never told this person that before?” Or “Is he/she listening to anything I’m saying”. I started taking it personally and it also felt like I was in a twilight zone where I was never making any progress with the people in my life. So I decided fairly recently to no longer repeat things I may have mentioned before instead observe and respond respectfully.
Which all leads to giving people the benefit of the doubt. Dr. Maya Angelou once said “when someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them”. This is a biggie for me. I used to give many people the benefit of the doubt. I believed that they needed someone to give them many chances before they improved their ways. But after being hurt several times repeatedly by several people, I really was harming myself.
“When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them”Dr. Maya Angelou
Listen, doubting someone’s actions is a form of abuse on yourself. Believe what people show you, some people talk a good talk and are great at charming their way into what they want from you. But actions that display the opposite of words spoken is a recipe for confusion otherwise known as GASLIGHTING. We all have a sense of intuition that protects us from people that will hurt us, yet we choose to ignore it many times until it’s too late and the damage is already done. When we know better we must do better for the sake of our mental health. I saw an art figure by the artist Kaws where a Pinocchio figure removed his growing nose; it was called “Better Knowing”, I interpreted it as it is better to know the truth than to continuously lie to oneself. Don’t lie to yourself when the truth is shown to you.
And lastly, saying “I told you so” is a child’s response. Instead of telling others “I told you so” say “how did you come to that conclusion” and watch how they will unwrap the things you have mentioned to them from previous conversations. Some folks need to experience situations on their own, we’re stubborn humans. We think we have a better resolution and way of doing things. But in reality we really just want to see a different outcome with our own eyes.
Give yourself peace by letting go of the things that upset you. That’s the direction I’m talking now to find inner peace, it’s not easy but it’s progress. Move onward and learn from the mistakes of others by listening, hearing and understanding. And if you don’t understand ask questions. I read somewhere that ‘History never repeats itself; Man always does’.
Original Good Girl