The Most Important Thing to Understand About Ourselves and Others

…we will always be imperfect people!

In the midst of losing one of the greatest basketball players of our time, Kobe Bryant and his beautiful talented daughter Gianna Bryant I can’t help but to share my father/daughter story. It’s certainly not as beautiful as the relationship between Kobe and Gianna. From what I can see and understand they had a beautiful father/daughter relationship, one that I wish I could have experienced. When I think of how their bond may have been I’m left at a loss for words because that is a love I didn’t get a chance to experience. Yet my heart is saddened because he has left behind three other girls and his wife who now have to experience a heartbreak like no other. My story is a bit different however, it is a story nonetheless. It’s not up to us to understand how God works nor question God’s order of life.

Short Storytime, my parents divorced when I was about 7 or 8 years old, and I didn’t form a relationship with my father. Yet he tried reaching out to make some effort to keep in touch with me as I grew older. But he stopped trying after so many failed attempts. Then I would begin to forget about him, which later caused me to build some anger towards him. My family sensed that I didn’t particularly appreciate talking about my father. And one day in my early twenties, I spoke with him, and I was a tad bit rude. Honestly, I had nothing to say to him, and I’m not too fond of small talk. I found myself angry and sad more often because I didn’t have my father in my life. Some night’s I’d wonder, was I a mistake? Why would he leave me? All I remember about him growing up was his inconsistent presence, his espresso coffee, and his guitar.

Now, as I come to understand the relationships I have created today, I know why I find comfort in distancing myself from friends, and why it’s been so difficult for me to show my emotions and why I struggle with commitment. These are my faults and vices, and I do not make any excuses for them because I know I am imperfect. I’m well aware of where I can use improvement, and I also when to admit my wrongdoings; because I owe it to no one but myself to be a better person in a world full of pretenders.

30 years later, I’m willing working to repair my relationship with my father. This will be one of the biggest challenges in my life. All this to say, we can always choose to be better people to those close to us. We can choose to forgive those that have hurt us, we can choose to let go of the pain that serves no purpose, but no one can push us to make a change. And it’s certainly not so easy to change as well, but it’s our choices that create our reality.

Our choices are a signature of our personality. And not everyone will agree with our choices in life. Hey, some will not understand how or why we made those choices. Those that choose not to comprehend, lose the power of growing into knowledge, and those that do understand gain power to enlightenment. Understanding that people are imperfect doesn’t mean you must agree; it means you’re willing to change.

Be the change you need in your life, then be the change the world needs.

Till next time,

Original Good Girl