Aside

Hello and Welcome!

Welcome to the Original Good Girl blog, where I share stories, pep talks and advice given to me over my lifetime. The name Original Good Girl came from always being labeled a “good girl” because being kind and pretty with a smile was all everyone wanted to see. Until I started showing everyone that there was more to me than my pretty face and smile and I learned alot about myself from good and toxic relationships, many friendships, sporadic dating, and most importantly my Mental well being and everything else in between.

As a young black woman in a changing world that is trying to understand me and my culture. I am ready to teach and learn.

So subscribe to my blog and follow me on Instagram @OriginalGoodGirl

3 Things That Give Me Peace

1. Not repeating myself

2. Not saying “I told you so”

3. Not giving people the benefit of the doubt

This year I struggled with finding peace. Whether I was home alone, with friends, family or strangers, I felt agitated. It was the little things that would occur for example; repeating myself to family and friends more often than before and it was really getting under my skin. I’d question myself “how could I have never told this person that before?” Or “Is he/she listening to anything I’m saying”. I started taking it personally and it also felt like I was in a twilight zone where I was never making any progress with the people in my life. So I decided fairly recently to no longer repeat things I may have mentioned before instead observe and respond respectfully.

Which all leads to giving people the benefit of the doubt. Dr. Maya Angelou once said “when someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them”. This is a biggie for me. I used to give many people the benefit of the doubt. I believed that they needed someone to give them many chances before they improved their ways. But after being hurt several times repeatedly by several people, I really was harming myself.

“When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them”

Dr. Maya Angelou

Listen, doubting someone’s actions is a form of abuse on yourself. Believe what people show you, some people talk a good talk and are great at charming their way into what they want from you. But actions that display the opposite of words spoken is a recipe for confusion otherwise known as GASLIGHTING. We all have a sense of intuition that protects us from people that will hurt us, yet we choose to ignore it many times until it’s too late and the damage is already done. When we know better we must do better for the sake of our mental health. I saw an art figure by the artist Kaws where a Pinocchio figure removed his growing nose; it was called “Better Knowing”, I interpreted it as it is better to know the truth than to continuously lie to oneself. Don’t lie to yourself when the truth is shown to you.

And lastly, saying “I told you so” is a child’s response. Instead of telling others “I told you so” say “how did you come to that conclusion” and watch how they will unwrap the things you have mentioned to them from previous conversations. Some folks need to experience situations on their own, we’re stubborn humans. We think we have a better resolution and way of doing things. But in reality we really just want to see a different outcome with our own eyes.

Give yourself peace by letting go of the things that upset you. That’s the direction I’m talking now to find inner peace, it’s not easy but it’s progress. Move onward and learn from the mistakes of others by listening, hearing and understanding. And if you don’t understand ask questions. I read somewhere that ‘History never repeats itself; Man always does’.

Be Good,

Original Good Girl

TO LOVE IS EASY.TO LOVE SOMEONE,IT CAN BE DIFFICULT.KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Loving a movie or hobby, or job is relatively easy.

Loving someone takes patience, understanding, the capacity to know they have faults that you have to accept, and accepting them as who they show up to be.

Being authentic sounds so cool, but it is simply raw. As we grow out of seasons in our lives, we will change. We never remain the same. And that’s the exciting thing consistency; change is consistent.

Loving someone is also fun, despite the differences you may share. The differences bring beauty into a relationship that is necessary when two people are authentic to themselves. Differences can bring joy and laughter while getting to know each other with an open mind and open heart.

We have to be vulnerable, and although sometimes it may hurt, it can also bring peace. A peace where sharing yourself with someone who wants to listen and take time to understand you is like no other; it’s love.

However, we should always face the truth by asking ourselves, am I ready to love someone as they are without asking them to change? People don’t change for others; they truly change for themselves. And while it may sound selfish, it’s a form of self-awareness. We all do what is best for ourselves.

So as we think about our partner, relationships, and friendships we should take it easy on ourselves and take it one day at a time.

The One Reason I Choose to Stop Writing!

A couple of months ago, I decided I want to stop blogging because of one reason mainly. That reason was I lost touch with being creative. I had no drive. Interestingly enough, I realized no one cared. And during these couple of months, I began a new personal project. But I won’t change the topic of why I stopped writing and why I’m back now.

Being creative to me meant sharing everything I felt and thought through words here on this blog. Yet, I didn’t feel driven or connected with some of the topics I would write about. Hence why I started writing poetry. I wanted a flow, a rhythm that not only felt good to read but resonated with myself and my readers. And then, I started thinking about making this blog more popular, and I fell into a rabbit hole that left me discouraged and empty. So I stopped writing here. But I never stopped journaling (but that’s entirely different). I felt utterly disconnected with no joy in blogging simply because I’m human, and sometimes I have moments where I have no creative flow.

I had forgotten this Blog Space is about me and no one else but me. My journey is one of a kind, and I sometimes fail to remember that as I share my ups and downs with friends, strangers, and family. You know that saying sharing is caring, well be mindful of who and what you’re sharing. I’ve shared many real personal stories here on my blog and with others, and moving forward, I will be more cautious about what will be shared because I know now everyone does not have the capacity nor ability to intake or advise or comment on my journey.

However, I’m grateful for people who want to see me do well in life and continue my writing and other life goals. The Pandemic has shown us how short life is and how quickly it can be taken away. And it’s shown us that taking a moment for ourselves to sit down and RELAX. Because if you haven’t been taking care of yourself pre-COVID, I’m sure you are now. At least I hope you are!

So let me conclude by saying. I’m back, and things may be different. After all, I have a therapist I share my most personal stories with on a bi-weekly schedule. But I’ll still keep it real and thought-provoking here. This space here is curated, produced by me, and initially me with me in mind.

Stay Original,

OGG