3 Things That Give Me Peace

1. Not repeating myself

2. Not saying “I told you so”

3. Not giving people the benefit of the doubt

This year I struggled with finding peace. Whether I was home alone, with friends, family or strangers, I felt agitated. It was the little things that would occur for example; repeating myself to family and friends more often than before and it was really getting under my skin. I’d question myself “how could I have never told this person that before?” Or “Is he/she listening to anything I’m saying”. I started taking it personally and it also felt like I was in a twilight zone where I was never making any progress with the people in my life. So I decided fairly recently to no longer repeat things I may have mentioned before instead observe and respond respectfully.

Which all leads to giving people the benefit of the doubt. Dr. Maya Angelou once said “when someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them”. This is a biggie for me. I used to give many people the benefit of the doubt. I believed that they needed someone to give them many chances before they improved their ways. But after being hurt several times repeatedly by several people, I really was harming myself.

“When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE them”

Dr. Maya Angelou

Listen, doubting someone’s actions is a form of abuse on yourself. Believe what people show you, some people talk a good talk and are great at charming their way into what they want from you. But actions that display the opposite of words spoken is a recipe for confusion otherwise known as GASLIGHTING. We all have a sense of intuition that protects us from people that will hurt us, yet we choose to ignore it many times until it’s too late and the damage is already done. When we know better we must do better for the sake of our mental health. I saw an art figure by the artist Kaws where a Pinocchio figure removed his growing nose; it was called “Better Knowing”, I interpreted it as it is better to know the truth than to continuously lie to oneself. Don’t lie to yourself when the truth is shown to you.

And lastly, saying “I told you so” is a child’s response. Instead of telling others “I told you so” say “how did you come to that conclusion” and watch how they will unwrap the things you have mentioned to them from previous conversations. Some folks need to experience situations on their own, we’re stubborn humans. We think we have a better resolution and way of doing things. But in reality we really just want to see a different outcome with our own eyes.

Give yourself peace by letting go of the things that upset you. That’s the direction I’m talking now to find inner peace, it’s not easy but it’s progress. Move onward and learn from the mistakes of others by listening, hearing and understanding. And if you don’t understand ask questions. I read somewhere that ‘History never repeats itself; Man always does’.

Be Good,

Original Good Girl

Why Do We Need To Heal & What Does It Look Like?

I’ve been seeing so many posts, podcasters, and tv segments discussing the power of healing and healing in general. There are millions of reasons why we need to heal. Here are 5 reasons why we need to heal and what it could look like to heal.

Reason 5

Living in the United States is not the Black Womans Dream. And the Justice System along with the Financial System was never in our favor. Hence why the murders of Breonna Taylor walk free. And Black women earn $0.97 for every dollar earned by a white man with the same job and qualifications. You deserve to heal, breathe.

Reason 4

A virus we still understand very little about has changed our lives completely. You deserve to heal, take in the sun.

Reason 3

Suicide rates are still on the rise and mental health is still not spoken about enough. You deserve to heal, life does get better.

Reason 2

Before life gets easier you have to learn from all the lessons that made life difficult. Whatever you loss was meant to leave your life. Whomever you loss left you with memories. You deserve to heal, because you’ve been through enough already.

Reason 1

You deserve to heal because that’s the only way you’ll be able to live your fullest life.

Signing off,

Original Good Girl

What Does It Mean To Have Imperfections?

imperfection:

noun

im· per· fec· tion | \ ˌim-pər-ˈfek-shən

:not perfect

I think you’d probably ask next, what is perfect. Well, here it goes; perfect is corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept. In my opinion, both words and definitions are trash. I would imagine to be perfect there must be an original “ideal” that is suited for one’s needs.

But if all of us are imperfect, who are we to judge what is perfect? It’s a matter of perspective if you ask me. If you view someone as ‘perfect,’ then that’s precisely what he/she is to YOU and ONLY YOU. But, many times, we don’t recognize those imperfections as lousy traits; therefore, we accept them as good traits, and that’s where our perspective shows us who can and cannot makes us happy.

Now, if we evaluate ourselves (if we’re honest with ourselves, many of you like to lie to yourselves, and those are toxic habits), we may come down too hard on ourselves; therefore, we have to navigate through our mental state, emotional state, and physical state to see what makes us happy. And these things change frequently. What made us happy last year may not necessarily make us happy this year. And what is imperfect to us now may seem completely perfect a year from now.

Yet, what does it mean to have imperfections? It’s to accept all of you, your pros and cons. I didn’t say accept all your bad habits and never look to improve yourself. We always improve as human beings, but it takes patience to see how to change our bad/toxic habits.

I’ll use myself as an example; I have a very laid back nonchalant attitude. I’ve been this way since I was probably 13yrs old. To some, this was a good trait, and for others, they hated it but wouldn’t say it outright. Instead, guys would tell me I don’t show any emotions or say I don’t care, and it’s quite the opposite I wear my heart on my sleeve when I’m seriously interested in whomever I’m dating. Problem is I’m not an outwardly emotional person, and, my laid back attitude is a defensive trait that can’t fit into any healthy relationship. I’m aware they I’m a work in progress. This is my imperfection. What’s yours?

Till next time,

Original Good Girl